Out of the Shadows
Reimagining Gay Men's Lives
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4.9 • 14 Ratings
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- $12.99
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- $12.99
Publisher Description
A moving exploration of how gay men construct their identities, fight to be themselves, and live authentically
It goes without saying that even today, it’s not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when an HIV epidemic is still ravaging the gay community, especially among the most marginalized.
Through moving stories—of friends and patients, and his own—Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of “the homosexual,” to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging. Crawling out from under the trauma of destructive early-life experience and the two epidemics, and into a century of shifting social values, provides an opportunity to explore possibilities rather than live with limitations imposed by others. Though it is drawn from decades of private practice, activism, and life in the gay community, Odets’s work achieves remarkable universality. At its core, Out of the Shadows is driven by his belief that it is time that we act based on who we are and not who others are or who they would want us to be. We—particularly the young—must construct our own paths through life. Out of the Shadows is a necessary, impassioned argument for how and why we must all take hold of our futures.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this soaring combination of social critique, memoir, and manifesto, Odets (In the Shadow of the Epidemic) urges gay men "to discover or rediscover identities that are internally rooted, self-expressive, and revealed in authentically lived lives." Drawing on his psychological forebears (Erik Erikson and Judith Herman among them), his own experiences (including those unrelated to romantic love, like grieving his mother's death when he was a child), and the stories of patients he has seen in decades of practice as a psychologist, he highlights with literary flair shared trauma, stigma, shame, and suffering that he sees as particular to gay men's experience in America, often contributing to a compromised existence of failed conformity to social norms. Odets unpacks the difference between "gay" and "homosexual," defining the former as "an entire internal life of feeling" versus a "single, objective behavior." His discussions of gay men's sexual expression and relationships are frank, compassionate, and open-minded. He writes, "Only through self-discovery and self-acceptance can we most fully realize our lives," and that "in the end, authentic self-acceptance or the lack of it is almost the entirety of what defines a life." Odets's greatest strengths are his moving prose and ability to make the psychological material accessible and as fascinating and thought-provoking as the poignant stories. Gay men will find much to ponder here, but any reader can find meaning in this extraordinary, stirring invitation to re-examine assumptions about what it means to be gay and to have a good life.
Customer Reviews
Transformative!
A startlingly courageous book. The empathy and compassion that Odets has for his subject is visceral. “Out of the Shadows” is one of the most transformative books I’ve ever encountered and deserves to be widely read. Give it as a gift to someone you care about; I already have.