How to Know a Person
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
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4.6 • 133 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
Written to meet a historical moment in which social media seems to be stoking divisions—and just talking to each other is becoming unreasonably difficult— David Brooks’ fascinating guide offers a road map for human connection. For the New York Times columnist, getting to know each other deeply is one of life’s most crucial and rewarding tasks. He walks us through the steps involved in making it happen, drawing on medical and psychological research, history, and cultural studies. Brooks also takes a long look inward, sharing relatable stories from his own past and highlighting the ways ego, anxiety, and other factors can get in the way of connecting with other people. While his book is unfailingly practical, Brooks is such a skillful writer and deep thinker that his prose sometimes feels philosophical. Whether you want to form new relationships or deepen existing ones, this is an excellent starting point.
Customer Reviews
Made me realize u just can’t understand other ppl
10/10. Read the book and started dating. Met a girl with avoidant disorder personality, loved her to death trying to understand her and I can’t. Nah I ain’t trying to understand others completely anymore. It’s just stupid.
Life altering
Holy moly!!! Everyone must read this book….it is a life altering experience and truly captures the human experience and how it alters our perception and therefore our lives. And even then by seeing this we can transcend our own perceptions and see those of others thereby bridging the disconnect. Thank you 🙏
A very important book
I wish every politician and the people who vote for them would “really read” this book. Then maybe we could mutually solve some of the very difficult problems facing our country and world today. But I know this won’t happen because our egos get in the way. I can always hope! Thanks David.