Crap Kingdom
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3.9 • 11 Ratings
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- $9.99
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- $9.99
Publisher Description
THE CHOSEN ONE MUST BE RETRIEVED FROM EARTH
HE WILL BRING DOWN THE WALL AND RESTORE THE KINGDOM TO GLORY
HIS NAME IS TOM PARKING
With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom's fate is sealed: he's been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.
There's just one problem: The kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems: the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats' noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.
So, basically, the kingdom sucks.
When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he's making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he's been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who's always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back—at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Adult author Pierson (The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To) delivers a cutting sendup of a traditional portal fantasy in this story of a Chosen One who fails to live up to his legend. Tenth-grader Tom Parking's life is perfectly average and acceptable until he's taken away to a mystical kingdom where he's destined to do great things. But the kingdom, which doesn't even have a name, stinks, in Tom's opinion. It's boring, dirty, and filled with trash, and its inhabitants are jerks (worse still, the prophecy about Tom is written in Times New Roman, and not even centered properly). Disappointed, Tom turns his back on the whole thing, but he's flabbergasted when his best friend Kyle is picked as the new Chosen One and turns out to be a much better choice. There's a subtly cynical, almost mean-spirited feel to the humor, as though Pierson is not-so-affectionately mocking the source material even as he mines it for inspiration. Luckily, some narrative twists and surprises redeem the story, shedding light on a bigger picture. Ages 12 up.
