My Favorite Fangs
The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires
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- $11.99
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF SUCKING
Maria von Trapp is sweet, innocent, and can sing like an angel. Oh, and she's also a bloodthirsty vampire.
When Maria is kicked out of the zombie-infested abbey where she's been residing for the past 612 years, she's forced to take care of the family Von Trapp, a rowdy clan in need of some serious discipline… or vampirification. After Maria turns the Von Trapp children into children of the night and marries the Von Trapp patriarch, the family seems destined for eternal (really, really eternal) bliss. But the Nazi Undeath Squads are on the march, intent on ridding Europe of bloodsuckers. And Maria will have to do everything in her power—supernatural or otherwise—to save her vampire brood.
Sixteen going on seventeen members of our legal team have instructed us to tell you, even though it should be obvious, that My Favorite Fangs was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in the creation or production of The Sound of Music film, or any version of the stage musical. That seventeenth wouldn't take our call because he was too busy drinking his tea—a drink with jam and bread—to weigh in.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Goldsher (Paul Is Undead) has devised the perfect book for readers who believe that The Sound of Music needed more caustic vomit, lesbian vampire sex, Nazi Undeath Squads, the ghost of John Coltrane, and copious lashings of gross-out humor. Maria is a vampire and a novice in an order of zombie nuns with names like Chesty LaBumm and Brandi; von Trapp is an alcoholic dubiously played for comedy; and the baroness is a succubus who induces "a stirring" in Maria's "lady-parts." Instead of transforming the dreadful von Trapp brood with the joy of learning to sing, Maria turns them into bloodsuckers who perform dire chants and improbable acrobatics for fun and profit. This juvenile parody entirely lacks the grace and wit of other mashups and reeks with contempt for its source material. Sarcastic interludes with famous vampires provide only the slightest relief from the instantly stale jokes.