Always the Almost
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- $11.99
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
A trans pianist makes a New Year's resolution on a frozen Wisconsin night to win regionals and win back his ex, but a new boy complicates things in Edward Underhill's heartfelt debut YA rom-dram, Always the Almost.
Sixteen-year-old trans boy Miles Jacobson has two New Year’s resolutions: 1) win back his ex-boyfriend (and star of the football team) Shane McIntyre, and 2) finally beat his slimy arch-nemesis at the Midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. But that’s not going to be so easy. For one thing, Shane broke up with Miles two weeks after Miles came out as trans, and now Shane’s stubbornly ignoring him, even when they literally bump into each other. Plus, Miles’ new, slightly terrifying piano teacher keeps telling him that he’s playing like he “doesn’t know who he is”—whatever that means.
Then Miles meets the new boy in town, Eric Mendez, a proudly queer cartoonist from Seattle who asks his pronouns, cares about art as much as he does—and makes his stomach flutter. Not what he needs to be focusing on right now. But after Eric and Miles pretend to date so they can score an invite to a couples-only Valentine’s party, the ruse turns real with a kiss, which is also definitely not in the plan. If only Miles could figure out why Eric likes him so much. After all, it's not like he’s cool or confident or comfortable in his own skin. He’s not even good enough at piano to get his fellow competitors to respect him, especially now, as Miles. Nothing’s ever been as easy for him as for other people—other boys. He’s only ever been almost enough.
So why, when he’s with Eric, does it feel like the only person he’s ever really not been enough for...is himself?
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
A trans teen pianist grapples with coming out, competition, and romance in Underhill's exuberant debut. Sixteen-year-old Miles Jacobson has two goals: beat rival pianist Cameron Hart in the Tri-State Piano Competition, and persuade his football player ex-boyfriend, Shane McIntyre, that he's still the same person he was before he came out as trans. Despite his enthusiasm regarding his plans, however, he struggles with his brusque piano teacher's insistence that his playing needs to have a personal meaning if he wants to beat Cameron. His desire to win Shane back is also complicated by growing feelings for Latinx artist Eric Mendez, a newcomer to Miles's small Wisconsin town who is immediately supportive of Miles's queer identity. A breakthrough with his concert piece leads to a successful preliminary competition round, but when Miles makes an relationship mistake that jeopardizes his budding courtship with Eric, he struggles to navigate myriad tertiary conflicts while trying to repair the romance. A beginning note promising a book "full of joy" lives up to that assurance; building nuanced characters with relatable problems, high emotional stakes, and earnest first love, Underhill delivers a delightful triumph. Most characters read as white. Ages 12–up.