The Way They Were
Dealing with Your Parents' Divorce After a Lifetime of Marriage
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4.0 • 5 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
How to deal with your parents’ divorce when you’re not a kid anymore
As the divorce rate soars among the baby-boomer generation, more and more people in their twenties and thirties are being faced with the divorce of their parents, and few resources exist to help them cope with their unique circumstances. Written by an award-winning journalist who has lived through her own parents’ midlife divorce, this practical, comforting guide includes advice on:
• How to help your parents without getting caught in the middle
• How to have tough conversations with your parents about money, property, and inheritance—theirs and yours
• How to understand the complexities of infidelity and stepfamilies
• How to rebuild relationships with each parent after the divorce
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Whatever we believe about the effects of divorce on young children, we often assume "parental divorce won't hurt an adult child." Foster, a writer for the Washingtonian and a member of the "lost-nest generation," couldn't disagree more strongly. Adult children of divorce often end up being their parents' caretakers, she says, forced to listen to details they'd have been spared if they were younger. Now Mom's crying about Dad's slutty girlfriend, Dad's trying to figure out why Mom's not satisfied anymore and each parent is busy lobbying for sympathy or assistance. Adult children may even be made to feel guilty that their parents stayed together so unhappily for so many years, just for their sakes. With much empathy and little jargon (she's talked to therapists but she's not one herself), Foster discusses the process of adjusting to parental divorce, detailing the challenges of each stage how to set boundaries on parental ranting, quit trying to make everyone happy, deal with the inevitable stepparent, etc. with a summary of main points at each chapter's end. Given the paucity of books on this subject, Foster's helpful, down-to-earth approach should result in solid sales. (On sale Jan. 24)
Customer Reviews
Quite eye opening!
I'm already quite open minded about my parents divorce. I'm a very analytical person and always try to think of other people's point of view. I had known my parents relationship wasn't golden or Magazine cover great, but it was something. And I even have had a feeling from the first fight I remember my parents having right around Christmas that they would get a divorce, but when it was real I still found my self feeling as though I was blind sided. This book really allowed me to move through some of my anger and confusion. I feel as though it also helped me to realize I wasn't as alone as I thought and that my feelings are as natural as they come! It took a lot of weight off of me for feeling guilty of my feelings and thinking "why am I so upset, I'm not the one getting a divorce,"" I'm an adult, why does this hurt so bad," and "I knew this was coming sooner or later."
I really recommend this book. It's not a way to get over it but it is a way to move forward in your life while dealing with it, so that hopefully it doesn't consume you where you feel as though you want to cry randomly! As it was for me. Hope this helps you decide.
Life Saving
To me, this book feels like it is describing my life. The author makes me feel as if I’m not alone in this sad situation. I highly recommend any adult going through their parent’s divorce read this book.
To the author, thank you for writing this story and making my pain feel acknowledged and validated.
A helpful book
This book helped me to see that my situation was not usual and it was a good read. I would have liked more insight as to how to deal with certain things as an adult child of divorce. At the end of each chapter there were key takeaways and I found that helpful. I would recommend this book to anyone who experienced divorce as an adult child.