Powerful Mate Syndrome
Reclaiming Your Strength and Purpose When Your Partner Is the Star of the Relationship
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5.0 • 1 Rating
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- $11.99
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
A frank, practical, and uplifting guide for anyone living in the shadow of a powerful mate.
Former NBA wife and marriage and family therapy intern Angela Wilder knows all about living with a powerful mate. Through her own experiences and those of her many clients and even many friends, she has come to recognize the signs of what she calls Powerful Mate Syndrome:
- a belief that a partner's work, interests, and personality should come before one's own
- a lack of self-worth, identity, and joyful self-expression
- a loss of financial and decision-making power
- a fear of questioning, challenging, or disagreeing with one's "powerful mate" for fear of losing what is good (or even not so good) about the relationship
In this warm, supportive, and refreshingly tell-it-like-it-is book, Angela Wilder helps readers understand how they got to this destructive power imbalance in their relationship (hint: it's NOT all the other person's fault!), and she charts a simple, step-by-step path to a healthier sense of self, and a more balanced, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.
Complete with insightful and revealing quizzes, checklists, and exercises, and generously offering personal and professional anecdotes to help explain Powerful Mate Syndrome ("the other PMS"), this one-of-a-kind guide will introduce you to your "Reality Godmother" - and offer hope, and concrete solutions, for anyone who lives in the reflected glory of a powerful mate.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Wilder wrote this book after her marriage to Los Angeles Lakers star James Worthy ended in divorce. In it, she blames the break-up of their union on powerful mate syndrome, which she describes as a situation in which a person--usually a woman--experiences her mate as holding far more power in the relationship than she does. Wilder begins with her own story--she and Worthy fell in love in college, threw a lavish wedding and appeared to be a happily-ever-after couple that had it all. But deep inside, Wilder suffered because of her inferior rank in the marriage."I enthroned as the king of my world and, rather than doing what it took to be a powerful queen, I assumed the role as the king's subject." Wilder goes on to share compelling stories of other people who are afflicted with powerful mate syndrome: ladies who lunch instead of finding fulfilling jobs or volunteer work, trophy wives who pay no attention to family finances and women whose husbands demand that they give up fulfilling careers to stay home and raise children. A hundred pages into her book, Wilder finally starts to offer solutions and writing exercises for women who want to reclaim power in their marriages. Unfortunately, much of the advice just scratches the surface. Suggestions such as"invest in couples counseling,""establish your own credit history separate and apart from your spouse" and"get a job!" don't really address the deeper issues that are at play in a power-imbalanced marriage. After ending her marriage, Wilder earned a master's degree in clinical psychology and now works as a registered marriage and family therapy intern. She seems genuinely sincere in her desire to help readers avoid the mistakes she made, but her book would be more effective if it offered fresher, more comprehensive solutions that would resound with couples at all economic levels.
