The Tending Instinct
Women, Men, and the Biology of Nurturing
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- $11.99
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
A groundbreaking work that reveals how the instinct to "tend and befriend" is vital for human society.
In times of crisis and upheaval, our responses to stress become especially important. We have long heard about the "fight or flight" response, but renowned psychologist Shelley E. Taylor points out that hardwired in females -- both humans and those of other species -- is an instinct that can transcend "fight or flight." Their "tend and befriend" response is not only demonstrable but, as Taylor deftly explains in this eye-opening work, a key ingredient in human social life.
With great skill and insight, Taylor examines stress, relationships, and human society through the special lens of women's biology. She draws on genetics, evolutionary psychology, physiology, and neuroscience to show how this tending process begins virtually at the moment of conception and literally crafts the biology of offspring through genes that rely on caregiving for their expression. Taylor also examines what drives women to seek each other's company, and to tend to the young and the infirm -- acts that greatly benefit the group but often at great cost to the individual.
The Tending Instinct will forever change the way we view ourselves, and will revolutionize our understanding of the role of women and nurturing in maintaining a stable society.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Taylor, a psychology professor at UCLA, makes the claim that "we are fundamentally a nurturant species," biologically programmed to "tend and befriend" one another. As an expert in stress, she has long seen a deficiency in the dominant theory that only the "fight or flight" instinct has motivated humans and facilitated our survival and evolution. Taylor's theory is based solidly on clinical studies and observations, along with a meticulous review of the old nature-versus-nurture argument. Contending that caregiving, altruism and cooperation are helpful and even necessary for survival of the species, and in fact instinctive and biological in origin, Taylor thoroughly explores animal and human behaviors and brain functions. She presents this fascinating material in a highly readable voice and text, with nearly 80 pages of endnotes for those wishing to pursue further study of her claims and extensive documentation. Clearly demonstrating the adverse effects of lack of "tending and befriending" in terms of physical and mental health, longevity, crime and a host of other social ills, Taylor claims that "the prevailing view of self-interest as a dominant human motivation has led to a self-fulfilling prophecy." Taylor offers an alternative that recognizes and encourages what she sees as essential and instinctive social skills, bonding, and support, arguing strongly that this heretofore ignored aspect of human nature can and should be respected and cultivated for the benefit (and continued survival) of individuals, families, groups, businesses and societies.
Customer Reviews
12 years later...
This book came out 12 years ago and yet I am living the life of tending instinct. The experiences I have encountered in my life this book has nailed it. At this point I think I have a better outlook on what to expect for the rest of my life. At least I know that I'm not the only one who is going through who has been through and continues to experience what I'm going through. Tending instincts has made it much more clear for me of what I want next in my life and to see it in this book is an eye-opener. I am on a different transition in my life now. After raising two children with the youngest 20 year old, married for 26 years and being fired from the last job I was in, 8 months ago, of being in the medical field for 24 years I definitely am experiencing my tending instinct. Without it I don't think I would be here today...