I Want My Life Back
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- $5.99
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- $5.99
Publisher Description
One is too many. A thousand is never enough.' 'Andrea arrived in rehab at the same time as me. We were in admissions together. I can't remember how many times she'd tried to get clean, but it was my eleventh institution and I was dying. For two days I listened to her withdrawal in a room just down the passage from mine. The screaming, the swearing, the crying - and the hideous, desperate ka-klung! of the bars on the side of the bed as she wrestled with the restraints that kept her tied to it. I don't know what damage they thought she could have done really. Andrea had had all the tips of her fingers amputated. She'd got gangrene from shooting up under her nails too many times ...' At the age of fifteen I already had a criminal record, busted by the drug squad for possession of an illegal substance. You'd think I'd have learnt a lesson, wouldn't you, but I'm still learning, even though I'm clean of street drugs now - well, just for today - and have a lot of clean time behind me. The hardest lesson of all for an addict is that the nightmare is never over and the powerful seduction of just one more high never ever goes away. The story in these pages is not a comfortable one. It doesn't have an ending and I'm not even sure if it has a true beginning. Some of the time it may read like a bad dream. It isn't. It's my life you're holding in your hands. Don't let it be yours.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Hamilton, a 39-year-old South African, tells a sadly common tale of woe as a reformed drug addict and alcoholic, straightforwardly detailing how he descended into a dismal, purposeless life after surviving a broken home with a drunken father, and squandered his future as a promising tenor. Although Hamilton realizes early on that his addictions could derail his life, he sees little hope in shaking the dependence on drinking and drugging that, from his teens, quickly plunges him into a dead-end existence. Using his grim story as a departure point, Hamilton often lapses into long lectures on the evils of drugs and alcohol; he finds cigarettes can be a "gateway drug'' for those susceptible to addictive behavior. He doesn't render his brave journey from stupor to sobriety in a clear, linear manner, but rather in fits and starts, as he bounces from topic to topic, going from a brief admission of brain damage from his addictions to longer remembrances of his postrehab work with schools and companies, and the difficulty of fighting the urge to get high. While the recollections of his dysfunctional family and tainted friends hold an occasional charge of drama, Hamilton offers few new insights about the rigors of healing and rehabilitation, producing a predictable memoir that is, at times, boring. Hamilton addresses moral courage, determination and redemption in the face of temptation, physical decline and unwavering support from a community of peers. Despite the book's lack of originality and erratic narrative, the author's generous heart and willingness to help others make it inspirational and instructive.